"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo" : Diamond in the Rough

The most disturbing part about this tattoo is not so much the fact this chick has "heartless" written across her lower abdomen, but the featured, shall we say, diamond in the rough. This has to be one of the most high maintenance tattoos of all time. Gotta keep that diamond polished at all times. No thanks. Oh yes, and this tattoo is in honor of Valentine's Day.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Marcelo Daldoce


Phil Hale

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell" : Taboo In Advertising

An ongoing theme in "The Hard Sell" is the United Kingdom having their panties in a bunch. Apparently sex is not the only thing that the British can't deal with. Other natural acts like death is even a cause for uproar. This ad for the HBO series "Six Feet Under" was banned because it was "offensive, shocking and likely to cause undue distress." Who gets distressed over this? Maybe I'm missing the overall disgust for this ad, but banning seems a bit much for this one. Someone please get the Brits to adopt a freedom of speech mentality. Stat.

"Vice Pioneers" : Plastic Surgery

Walter Yeo: first know plastic surgery recipient


Sushruta: "Father of Surgery"


Vincenz Czerny: boob man

Altering one's appearance is easy these days. A few bucks and a dream is all that is needed to transform your entire look. The craze with plastic surgery keeps growing by the minute and it doesn't seem like it will be slowing down anytime soon. People want a new face/body and there's nothing they won't do to get it. Let's look at how this craze got its start.

From Wikipedia:
History
Reconstructive surgery techniques were being carried out in India by 800 BC. Sushruta, the father of Indian surgery, made important contributions to the field of plastic and cataract surgery in 6th century BC. The medical works of both Sushruta and Charak originally in Sanskrit were translated into Arabic language during the Abbasid Caliphate in 750 AD. The Arabic translations made their way into Europe via intermediaries. In Italy the Branca family of Sicily and Gaspare Tagliacozzi (Bologna) became familiar with the techniques of Sushruta.

British physicians traveled to India to see rhinoplasties being performed by native methods. Reports on Indian rhinoplasty performed by a Kumhar vaidya were published in the Gentleman's Magazine by 1794. Joseph Constantine Carpue spent 20 years in India studying local plastic surgery methods. Carpue was able to perform the first major surgery in the Western world by 1815. Instruments described in the Sushruta Samhita were further modified in the Western world.

The ancient Egyptians and Romans also performed plastic cosmetic surgery. The Romans were able to perform simple techniques, such as repairing damaged ears from around the 1st century BC. For religious reasons, they did not dissect either human beings or animals, thus their knowledge was based in its entirety on the texts of their Greek predecessors. Notwithstanding, Aulus Cornelius Celsus left some surprisingly accurate anatomical descriptions, some of which — for instance, his studies on the genitalia and the skeleton — are of special interest to plastic surgery.

In 1465, Sabuncuoglu's book, description, and classification of hypospadias was more informative and up to date. Localization of urethral meatus was described in detail. Sabuncuoglu also detailed the description and classification of ambiguous genitalia. In mid-15th century Europe, Heinrich von Pfolspeundt described a process "to make a new nose for one who lacks it entirely, and the dogs have devoured it" by removing skin from the back of the arm and suturing it in place. However, because of the dangers associated with surgery in any form, especially that involving the head or face, it was not until the 19th and 20th centuries that such surgery became common.

Up until the techniques of anesthesia became established, surgeries involving healthy tissues involved great pain. Infection from surgery was reduced by the introduction of sterile techniques and disinfectants. The invention and use of antibiotics, beginning with sulfa drugs and penicillin, was another step in making elective surgery possible.

In 1792, Chopart performed operative procedure on a lip using a flap from the neck. In 1814, Joseph Carpue successfully performed operative procedure on a British military officer who had lost his nose to the toxic effects of mercury treatments. In 1818, German surgeon Carl Ferdinand von Graefe published his major work entitled Rhinoplastik. Von Graefe modified the Italian method using a free skin graft from the arm instead of the original delayed pedicle flap.

The first American plastic surgeon was John Peter Mettauer, who, in 1827, performed the first cleft palate operation with instruments that he designed himself. In 1845, Johann Friedrich Dieffenbach wrote a comprehensive text on rhinoplasty, entitled Operative Chirurgie, and introduced the concept of reoperation to improve the cosmetic appearance of the reconstructed nose.

In 1891, American otorhinolaryngologist John Roe presented an example of his work, a young woman on whom he reduced a dorsal nasal hump for cosmetic indications. In 1892, Robert Weir experimented unsuccessfully with xenografts (duck sternum) in the reconstruction of sunken noses. In 1896, James Israel, a urological surgeon from Germany, and in 1889 George Monks of the United States each described the successful use of heterogeneous free-bone grafting to reconstruct saddle nose defects. In 1898, Jacques Joseph, the German orthopaedic-trained surgeon, published his first account of reduction rhinoplasty. In 1928, Jacques Joseph published Nasenplastik und Sonstige Gesichtsplastik.

20th century
In World War I, a New Zealand otolaryngologist working in London, Harold Gillies, developed many of the techniques of modern plastic surgery in caring for soldiers suffering from disfiguring facial injuries. His work was expanded upon during World War II by his cousin and former student Archibald McIndoe, who pioneered treatments for RAF aircrew suffering from severe burns. McIndoe's radical, experimental treatments, led to the formation of the Guinea Pig Club. In 1946, Gillies carried out the first female-to-male sex reassignment surgery.

Plastic surgery, as a specialty, evolved remarkably during the 18th century in the United States. One of the founders of the specialty, Vilray Blair, was the first chief of the Division of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri. In one of his many areas of clinical expertise, Blair treated World War I soldiers with complex maxillofacial injuries, and his paper on "Reconstructive Surgery of the Face" set the standard for craniofacial reconstruction.

Cosmetic Surgery
Aesthetic plastic surgery involves techniques intended for the "enhancement" of appearance through surgical and medical techniques, and is specifically concerned with maintaining normal appearance, restoring it, or enhancing it beyond the average level toward some aesthetic ideal.

In 2006, nearly 11 million cosmetic procedures were performed in the United States alone. The number of cosmetic procedures performed in the United States has increased over 50 percent since the start of the century. Nearly 12 million cosmetic procedures were performed in 2007, with the five most common surgeries being breast augmentation, liposuction, nasal surgery, eyelid surgery and abdominoplasty. The increased use of cosmetic procedures crosses racial and ethnic lines in the U.S., with increases seen among African-Americans and Hispanic Americans as well as Caucasian Americans. In Europe, the second largest market for cosmetic procedures, cosmetic surgery is a $2.2 billion business. Cosmetic surgery is now very common in countries such as the United Kingdom, France, and Germany. In Asia, cosmetic surgery has become an accepted practice; currently most widely prevalent and normal in China where it is currently Asia's biggest comestic surgery market. Children undergoing cosmetic eye surgery can be seen in Japan and South Korea."

"Sex 101"

This week's OMGFactsSEX stats:

* Zelophilia is getting aroused by jealousy.
* There are stone carvings depicting vaginas that date back to as early as 35,000 years ago.
* By age 25, 95% of American females have had sex.
* Some fish have been known to engage in fellatio.
* Homilophilia isfeeling sexual arousal when listening to or giving public speeches.
* Female hyenas have an elongated clitoris that is nearly indistinguishable from the male’s penis.
* Flatuphilia is getting aroused from flatulence.
* The first Playboy magazine wasn’t dated because Hugh Hefner assumed he’d never publish another one.
* Throughout history about 10% of the population is believed to have been gay.
* 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation.
* At age 70, 73% of men are still potent.
* Dolphins masturbate.
* Wyoming’s peak, the “Grand Teton” literally means “big tit”.
* “Vanilla” comes from the Latin word “vagina”.
* Autassassinophilia: being sexually aroused by the risk of being killed.

And I Quote...

“There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats.” --Pablo Picasso

"Sexpot of the Week" : Halle Berry

Talk about a MILF. There's probably no mother more fuckable than Halle Berry. Unfortunately, she is going through it right now with her getting nastier by the second custody battle with ex Gabriel Aubry. Up until now, she has been one of the few celebrities that has done a good job of staying out the tabloids. But the longer you're in the industry, the more likely you're gonna get caught in a bad life situation. Either way, she has done a lot of good. She's been acting for decades now which is a feat in itself. Oh yeah, and she won an Oscar for it. She has made a shitload of money with her endorsement deals. And somehow, at 44, she is still the most desired woman on the planet. A worthy resume no doubt.

News Spotlight: More Charlie Sheen Fuckery

Because we never seem to get tired of celebrities and their binges, more tidbits of information on Charlie Sheen's infamous hotel raid keep being leaked. This week, photos and video footage.

From Fox News: "Footage from the 36-hour drug and booze-fueled bender that landed Charlie Sheen in the hospital has been released.

A video released on TMZ shows an apparently inebriated Sheen doing a crazy dance with several women inside of a house.

But the most disturbing footage may be a photo of Sheen's face, which is sunken and sports a set of broken, gap-filled, gold-filled teeth.

A representative for Charlie Sheen confirmed to FOX411 that the troubled actor voluntarily entered an undisclosed rehabilitation center last Friday.

“He is most grateful to all who have expressed their concern,” Sheen’s rep, Stan Rosenfeld, told FOX411 in a statement. “Mr. Sheen asks that his privacy be respected at this time and that no additional informational will be provided.”"

"Dirty Joke" : Frugal

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the bills?," to which she replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo" : Bearded Batman

There is an automatic amount of cool points lost as soon as it crosses someone's mind to get a tattoo of a superhero. But if you must, it's probably a good idea to get a cool version of it. If that can't be achieved, an accurate version is the next best thing. This Batman tattoo has managed to conquer neither. Not only is it overall ugly, but apparently he's been so busy fighting crime that he has had no grooming time and grew a full beard in all the hooplah.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Nicholas Kalmakoff


Ian Lee Oliver

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell" : Taboo In Advertising

Entertainment often gets a pass when it comes to banning because people have come to expect a little deviance from creative folks. But apparently this ad for the 2002 movie "The Rules of Attraction" hit too close to home when it released an ad of copulating teddy bears and other stuffed animals. It was banned and the movie went with different artwork for the film. But don't fret. I'm sure the animals lived happily ever after and engaged in many more acts of pleasure after censorship.

And I Quote...

“The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.” --Woody Allen

"Vice Pioneers" : Pornography

Fanny Hill: first novel form porn


Eugène Pirou's "Le Coucher de la Marie" : first porn film


Denmark: first country to legalize porn

Sometimes vice subjects are so obvious that it is easy to overlook them when you are looking to focus on one. It dawned on me that pornography has never been looked at for "Vice Pioneers" even though it is the most frowned upon, albeit successful business venture in America. Objections to the subject include feminism claims of objectifying women, religious claims of sin, and legal claims of what is allowed by law in the first place. Here's the history of the all so complicated art of fucking on film (and for other mediums):

From Wikipedia:
Etymology
The word derives from the Greek πορνογραφία (pornographia), which derives from the Greek words πόρνη (pornē, "prostitute" and pornea, "prostitution"), and γράφω (graphō, "I write or record," derived meaning "illustration," cf. "graph"), and the suffix -ία (-ia, meaning "state of," "property of," or "place of"), thus meaning "a written description or illustration of prostitutes or prostitution."

History
Depictions of a sexual nature are as old as civilization (and possibly older, in the form of venus figurines and rock art), but the concept of pornography as understood today did not exist until the Victorian era. Nineteenth century legislation outlawed the publication, retail and trafficking of certain writings and images, regarded as pornographic, and would order the destruction of shop and warehouse stock, meant for sale. However, the private possession of and viewing of (some forms of) pornography was not made an offence until recent times.

When large scale excavations of Pompeii were undertaken in the 1860s, much of the erotic art of the Romans came to light, shocking the Victorians who saw themselves as the intellectual heirs of the Roman Empire. They did not know what to do with the frank depictions of sexuality, and endeavored to hide them away from everyone but upper class scholars. The moveable objects were locked away in the Secret Museum in Naples and what could not be removed was covered and cordoned off as to not corrupt the sensibilities of women, children and the working class.

Fanny Hill is considered "the first original English prose pornography, and the first pornography to use the form of the novel." It is an erotic novel by John Cleland first published in England in 1748. It is one of the most prosecuted and banned books in history. The authors were charged with "corrupting the King's subjects."

The world's first law criminalizing pornography was the United Kingdom Obscene Publications Act 1857 enacted at the urging of the Society for the Suppression of Vice. The Act, which applied to the United Kingdom and Ireland, made the sale of obscene material a statutory offence, giving the courts power to seize and destroy offending material. The Act did not apply to Scotland, where the common law continued to apply. However, the Act did not define "obscene", leaving this for the courts to determine. Prior to this Act, the publication of obscene material was treated as a common law misdemeanour and effectively prosecuting authors and publishers was difficult even in cases where the material was clearly intended as pornography.

The Victorian attitude that pornography was for a select few can be seen in the wording of the Hicklin test stemming from a court case in 1868 where it asks, "whether the tendency of the matter charged as obscenity is to deprave and corrupt those whose minds are open to such immoral influences." Despite the fact of their suppression, depictions of erotic imagery were common throughout history.

Pornographic film production commenced almost immediately after the invention of the motion picture in 1895. Two of the earliest pioneers were Eugène Pirou and Albert Kirchner. Kirchner directed the earliest surviving pornographic film for Pirou under the trade name "Léar". The 1896 film, Le Coucher de la Marie showed Louise Willy performing a striptease. Pirou's film inspired a genre of risqué French films showing women disrobing and other filmmakers realised profits could be made from such films.

Sexually explicit films were soon characterised as obscene and rendered illegal. Those that were produced were produced underground by amateurs starting in the 1940s. Processing the film by commercial means was risky as was their distribution. Distribution was strictly private.

Denmark was the first country to legalize pornography in 1969, which led to an explosion of commercially produced pornography. It continued to be banned in other countries, and had to be smuggled in, where it was sold "under the counter" or (sometimes) shown in "members only" cinema clubs.

Economics
Revenues of the adult industry in the United States is difficult to determine. In 1970, a Federal study estimated that the total retail value of hardcore pornography in the United States was no more than $10 million.

In 1998, Forrester Research published a report on the online "adult content" industry estimating $750 million to $1 billion in annual revenue. As an unsourced aside, the Forrester study speculated on an industry-wide aggregate figure of $8–10 billion, which was repeated out of context in many news stories, after being published in Eric Schlosser's book on the American underground economy. Studies in 2001 put the total (including video, pay-per-view, Internet and magazines) between $2.6 billion and $3.9 billion.

A significant amount of pornographic video is shot in the San Fernando Valley, which has been a pioneering region for producing adult films since the 1970s, and has since become home for various models, actors/actresses, production companies, and other assorted businesses involved in the production and distribution of pornography.

The pornography industry has been considered influential in deciding format wars in media, including being a factor in the VHS vs. Betamax format war (the videotape format war) and in the Blu-ray vs. HD DVD format war (the high-def format war)."

News Spotlight: Kim's Naked Rage

If you happened to miss "Kourtney and Kim Take New York" last night, congratulations. You're not a tv whore like the rest of us. If you did, then you witnessed Kim having a shitfit over her W photo shoot in which she posed butt ass naked and believed the magazine folks when they said she would not be exposed in the final product. She also apparently had an epiphany: if she doesn't take all her clothes off in front of a camera, no one can use the footage. You'd think she would have picked that one up a long time ago, but better late than never I guess.

From Business Insider: "Sex tape notwithstanding, Kim Kardashian is serious about nudity.

Kardashian's appearance in W magazine, both on the cover and in a photoshoot by Mark Seliger, caused a big buzz, leading to that issue tying for the second highest seller of 2010 for the artistic fashion magazine.

But the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York on E! showed what really happened during Kim's silver-body-paint only fashion shoot:

"I was naked but fully covered in silver paint," Kim told Kourtney during the episode. "This artist will put images of architecture and buildings and stuff on top of me so you will see my body shape and the outline but not actually my boobs or anything."

Then the photos arrived....

Kim broke down in tears over how much of her was in display. "I'm more naked here than I was in my Playboy," she cried.

"I'm so f*cking mad right now...She promised I would be covered with artwork....This is serious porn....You can see nipple."

"The whole concept was sold to me that nothing would be seen. I feel so taken advantage of. I've definitely learned my lesson. I'm never taking my clothes off again, even if it's for Vogue."

Later Kim came around. She apparently told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show that she now "loved" the images."

"Sex 101"

This week's OMGFactsSEX stats:

* Autassassinophilia: being sexually aroused by the risk of being killed.
* Beavers mate in the missionary position, which is unusual for non-human animals.
* In the 1800s, tampons were also used to stop the bleeding in bullet wounds.
* The name “Tampax” is a combination of the words “tampon” and “vaginal pack”.
* Only 17% of women planned their first sexual encounter.
* 25% of men planned their first sexual encounter.
* 72% of males over the age of 80 masturbate.
* Emetophilia: fetish for throwing up and being thrown up on.
* 10% of women admit that they have told lies in order to have sex.
* 34% of men admitted that they told lies to have sex.
* In 1989, 371,000 people reported injuries in the bedroom.

And I Quote...

“A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” --Victor Lownes

Some Random Weekend Video Fuckery

Yes, anyone can be a YouTube star these days. Make a catchy song about man parts and add some cartooning and you too can be a bonafide recording artist. God bless America!

"Sexpot of the Week" : Keri Hilson

Keri Hilson is R&B's most rising star right now. She's unique in that even though she is undoubtedly beautiful and sexy, she has a chill, B-girl quality about her. She rocks boyish outfits, big hoops, lots of gold chains, and similar fare. Not to say she doesn't push the sexy kitten envelope--she certainly shows skin from time to time (ie her new sexually over the top video in which she sells her R&B filled soul), but overall she has done a great job of being a cool sexy. She's been behind the music scene for years writing for other people and when her first album was released in 2009, her fanbase snowballed. Better yet, her new album debuted with higher than projected sales, no doubt prompted by her engaging Twitter marketing and banter. Her talent will be what keeps her around for a while, but being that we'll be seeing so much of her, it's a great thing she's easy on the eye.

News: Tracy Morgan's Sport of Choice

Another day, another comedian pissing off an entertainment company. This time it's Tracy Morgan. TNT is not too thrilled about Morgan's shout out to Sarah Palin as "masturbation material" last night. When are these entertainment people gonna learn? If you give a comedian a chance to say something on a live taping, you're probably gonna get a crass, funny joke.

From USA Today: "Did you hear the one about Sarah Palin vs. Tina Fey? Apparently, it was a joke that fell for flat for TNT, as 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan stopped by Inside the NBA to offer his opinion on the attractiveness of Palin against that of his boss, Fey, who repeatedly spoofed the former vice presidential candidate on Saturday Night Live.

Commentators Kenny Smith and Charles Barkely coaxed Morgan into choosing Palin or Fey, and the comedian made his choice while offering up a very, um, colorful reason for why Palin comes out on top. Check out the video to see the full exchange -- and announcer Ernie Johnson's awkward attempt at a segue.

TNT has since issued an apology for Morgan's comments, which sparked controversy on Twitter. "It's unfortunate Mr. Morgan showed a lack of judgment on our air with his inappropriate comments. We apologize for any embarrassment or offense it may have caused," a network spokesperson said."

"Dirty Joke" : Lucky Day

A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo" : Baby Cannibalism

As a modern woman, I fully understand that not all women are destined to grow up to be mommies. I will take it even further and say it is okay for a woman to not be fond of children at all. I mean, obnoxious baby hollers while you're trying to enjoy brunch is enough to encourage a tube tying. However, baby cannibalism is not the way to go. There are alternatives. And mental wards. Seek them out.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Morgaine Faye


Ana Verana

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell" : Taboo In Advertising

This is the second ad featured in "The Hard Sell" banned due to its imagery depicting the Twin Towers. The first one, an environmentally themed ad, was more blatantly shocking, showing the actual act of numerous planes crashing into the towers. This anti-smoking campaign ad (reportedly created by a New Zealand agency) is a little less aggressive, but was too "inappropriate" for the Chinese government to handle. No doubt, 9/11 and anything surrounding it is a sacred cow in our country, but it is interesting that China took such a strong stand on the ad. In terms of creativity and strongly driving a point home, the ad serves its purpose. And with all the attention this ad got online, the message definitely got out.

"Vice Pioneers" : Tattoo

Cool as ice: Ötzi the Iceman and his 57 tattoos


Janis Joplin: beloved wrist tattoo


Mainstreaming: Miami Ink

Once one of the most unaccepted artforms around, tattooing is so mainstream at this point that it almost feels unfitting to include it as a taboo practice, let alone suitable for "Vice Pioneers." But the truth is, it is still a subculture that has its own notable members and rites of passage. And let's not get carried away with the acceptance plea. Plenty of people still engage in a more than occasional eye rolling when the topic of tattoos is brought up or a person covered in them shows up. Here's a look into its history:

From Wikipedia: "A tattoo is a marking made by inserting indelible ink into the dermis layer of the skin to change the pigment for decorative or other reasons. Tattoos on humans are a type of decorative body modification, while tattoos on animals are most commonly used for identification or branding. The first written reference to the word, "tattoo" (or Samoan "Tatau") appears in the journal of Joseph Banks, the naturalist aboard Cook's ship "The Endeavour", in 1769: "I shall now mention the way they mark themselves indelibly, each of them is so marked by their humor or disposition".

Tattooing has been practiced for centuries worldwide. The Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan, traditionally wore facial tattoos. Today one can find Berbers of Tamazgha (North Africa), Māori of New Zealand, Arabic people in East-Turkey and Atayal of Taiwan with facial tattoos. Tattooing was widespread among Polynesian peoples and among certain tribal groups in the Taiwan, Philippines, Borneo, Mentawai Islands, Africa, North America, South America, Mesoamerica, Europe, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand and Micronesia. Despite some taboos surrounding tattooing, the art continues to be popular in many parts of the world.

Etymology
The OED gives the etymology of tattoo as "In 18th c. tattaow, tattow. From Polynesian tatau. In Tahitian, tatu." The word tatau was introduced as a loan word into English, the pronunciation being changed to conform to English phonology as "tattoo". Sailors on later voyages both introduced the word and reintroduced the concept of tattooing to Europe.

Tattoo enthusiasts may refer to tattoos as "Ink", "Tats", "Art", "Shign-Dings", "Pieces", or "Work"; and to the tattooists as "Artists". The latter usage is gaining greater support, with mainstream art galleries holding exhibitions of both conventional and custom tattoo designs. Beyond Skin, at the Museum of Croydon, is an example of this as it challenges the stereotypical view of tatoos and who has them. Copyrighted tattoo designs that are mass-produced and sent to tattoo artists are known as flash, a notable instance of industrial design. Flash sheets are prominently displayed in many tattoo parlors for the purpose of providing both inspiration and ready-made tattoo images to customers.

The Japanese word irezumi means "insertion of ink" and can mean tattoos using tebori, the traditional Japanese hand method, a Western-style machine, or for that matter, any method of tattooing using insertion of ink. The most common word used for traditional Japanese tattoo designs is Horimono. Japanese may use the word "tattoo" to mean non-Japanese styles of tattooing.

In Taiwan, facial tattoos of the Atayal tribe are named "Badasun"; they are used to demonstrate that an adult man can protect his homeland, and that an adult woman is qualified to weave cloth and perform housekeeping.

The anthropologist Ling Roth in 1900 described four methods of skin marking and suggested they be differentiated under the names of tatu, moko, cicatrix, and keloid.

History
Tattooing has been a Eurasian practice at least since around Neolithic times. Ötzi the Iceman, dating from the fourth to fifth millennium BC, was found in the Ötz valley in the Alps and had approximately 57 carbon tattoos consisting of simple dots and lines on his lower spine, behind his left knee, and on his right ankle. These tattoos were thought to be a form of healing because of their placement which resembles acupuncture.Other mummies bearing tattoos and dating from the end of the second millennium BC have been discovered, such as the Mummy of Amunet from Ancient Egypt and the mummies at Pazyryk on the Ukok Plateau.

Pre-Christian Germanic, Celtic and other central and northern European tribes were often heavily tattooed, according to surviving accounts. The Picts were famously tattooed (or scarified) with elaborate dark blue woad (or possibly copper for the blue tone) designs. Julius Caesar described these tattoos in Book V of his Gallic Wars (54 BC).
Tattooing in Japan is thought to go back to the Paleolithic era, some ten thousand years ago. Various other cultures have had their own tattoo traditions, ranging from rubbing cuts and other wounds with ashes, to hand-pricking the skin to insert dyes.

Tattooing in the Western world today has its origins in Polynesia, and in the discovery of tatau by eighteenth century explorers. The Polynesian practice became popular among European sailors, before spreading to Western societies generally.

Prevalence
Tattoos have experienced a resurgence in popularity in many parts of the world, particularly in North and South America, Japan, and Europe. The growth in tattoo culture has seen an influx of new artists into the industry, many of whom have technical and fine arts training. Coupled with advancements in tattoo pigments and the ongoing refinement of the equipment used for tattooing, this has led to an improvement in the quality of tattoos being produced.

Modern materials and techniques allow for a range of previously impossible designs and colors within tattoo art

During the first decade of the 21st century, the presence of tattoos became evident within pop culture, inspiring television shows such as A&E's Inked and TLC's Miami Ink and LA Ink. The decoration of blues singer Janis Joplin with a wristlet and a small heart on her left breast, by the San Francisco tattoo artist Lyle Tuttle, has been called a seminal moment in the popular acceptance of tattoos as art. Formal interest in the art of the tattoo has become prominent in the 1990s through the beginning of the 21st century. Contemporary art exhibitions and visual art institutions have featured tattoos as art through such means as displaying tattoo flash, examining the works of tattoo artists, or otherwise incorporating examples of body art into mainstream exhibits. One such 2009 Chicago exhibition Freaks & Flash featured both examples of historic body art as well as the tattoo artists who produced it.

In many traditional cultures tattooing has also enjoyed a resurgence, partially in deference to cultural heritage. Historically, a decline in traditional tribal tattooing in Europe occurred with the spread of Christianity. However, some Christian groups, such as the Knights of St. John of Malta, sported tattoos to show their allegiance. A decline often occurred in other cultures following European efforts to convert aboriginal and indigenous people to Western religious and cultural practices that held tattooing to be a "pagan" or "heathen" activity. Within some traditional indigenous cultures, tattooing takes place within the context of a rite of passage between adolescence and adulthood.

Many studies have been done of the tattooed population and society's view of tattoos. In June 2006 the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology published the results of a telephone survey which took place in 2004. It found that 36% of Americans ages 18–29, 24% of those 30-40 and 15% of those 41-51 had a tattoo. In September 2006, the Pew Research Center conducted a telephone survey which found that 36% of Americans ages 18–25, 40% of those 26-40 and 10% of those 41-64 had a tattoo. In January 2008, a survey conducted online by Harris Interactive estimated that 14% of all adults in the United States have a tattoo, just slightly down from 2003, when 16% had a tattoo. Among age groups, 9% of those ages 18–24, 32% of those 25-29, 25% of those 30-39 and 12% of those 40-49 have tattoos, as do 8% of those 50-64. Men are just slightly more likely to have a tattoo than women (15% versus 13%)."

And I Quote...

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” --Barbara Bush

News Spotlight: Teen Sex Gone Bad

News flash: teenagers are fucking. This fact seems to be very shocking and hard for some people to handle apparently after all the backlask MTV is catching for their new show "Skins." The show, which originated and has been very successful in the UK, has had four advertisers pull out and is now facing child pornography allegations. Of course, the ratings are good so we'll have to see if that fact plus money from the other advertisers who are still on board will keep the show afloat.

From NY Daily News: "Advertisers are slowly stripping away their support for MTV's latest show, much-talked-about "Skins."

The sex and drug-laden teen show received much media attention in the days leading up to its debut this past Monday, not all of it positive, after the Parents Television Council dubbed it "the most dangerous show" on television.

The PTC pitched a full-fledged advocacy campaign to get the show off the air, encouraging companies to pull their ads from the show.

So far, it seems like it's working.

Tax prep company H&R block, one of the show's largest advertisers, is the most recent to pull its support from the controversial British import, following in the steps of Taco Bell, Wrigley and GM, TMZ.com reported.

The company said in a statement: "H&R Block is not an advertiser of the show. One ad ran by mistake as part of a rotation. Once we learned this, we immediately took steps to ensure it didn't happen again. This program is not brand right and H&R Block did not select it to be part of our rotation." Gum-magnate Wrigley similarly yanked its TV spots from the series, stating that it was never the company's intent "to endorse content that could offend our consumers. Any ads that previously aired during the show were part of a broader advertising plan with the network [MTV]."

The PTC also argued that many scenes in the show - which include drug-induced erections, girls flashing their breasts and underage sex - are also grounds for child pornography charges.

"In addition to the sexual content on the show involving cast members as young as 15, the PTC counted 42 depictions and references to drugs and alcohol in the premiere episode," the council stated in a letter to the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Senate and House Judiciary Committees.

After Taco Bell and GM pulled their adds, MTV said in a statement: "We have an ongoing dialogue with our advertising partners about the best fit for them across our diverse lineup of shows.

"We know that not every show works for every advertiser. That said, we are confident that 'Skins' will continue to connect with the audience it was created for and that advertisers will take advantage of the opportunity to reach them."

The drama, which began as a hit British series in 2007, focuses on a group of high schoolers as they experiment and learn about topics ranging from mental illness to sexual orientation to substance abuse.

Representatives from MTV did not immediately return requests for comment.

While the noise surrounding the latest MTV teen hit may be loud, the network has had businesses pull their ads from controversial shows, including "Jersey Shore," in the past. The series, which was accused of being offensive to Italians, is the network's top-rated show and is currently in its third season."

"Sex 101"

This week's OMGFactsSEX stats:

* Only 41% of women said that they enjoyed sex their first time.
* 14% of men said they didn’t enjoy sex they first time they tried it.
* Castrated men live an average of 13 years longer than non-castrated men.
* 1 in 6 adults admitted that they have agreed to sex because they were embarrassed to say “no”.
* The average weight of a Playboy playmate has increased by 1 lb since the 1960s, while the average height has increased by 2 inches.
* A baby can experience an orgasm in the first weeks of life.
* Atheists, Jews, and other non-Christians are reportedly more sexually active than practicing Christians.
* According to American women, the average erect penis length is 4 inches.
* According to American men, the average erect penis length is 10 inches.

And I Quote...

"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity." --George Carlin

News Spotlight: Kat Von James?

So much for Kat Von D and Jesse James' relationship being a phase. After about a half a year of dating, the two officially announced their engagement yesterday. It's not too much of a surprise as the last couple of weeks they have been gushing and mushing about each other via Twitter. According to one article, they are rushing their alter appearance just as fast as the engagement, planning to marry in a month or so. Here are the details of this taboo union:

From Newsday: "Jesse James and "LA Ink" star Kat Von D are penciling in wedding plans.

"So honored that she said 'yes,' " celebrity motorcycle customizer James confirmed to People magazine Thursday.

"Twenty-ten was actually the best year of my life because I fell in love with my best friend. An amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs. I have never met anyone so kind and loving and committed to making the world a better place every day. My love for her is beyond description. . . . Growing old with her is going to be a . . . blast!"

"Waking up to what [James] said about our engagement this morning brought tears to my eyes, in the best way possible," Von D, born Katherine Drachenberg, wrote on her Twitter feed.

"Thank you for all the wonderful, loving congratulations . . . Overwhelmed with joy right now!"
Former reality-TV star James, 41, and tattoo artist Von D, 28, were first spotted together in August, after his divorce from Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock was finalized on June 28. Their five-year marriage had crumbled in March, shortly after reports of James' infidelities became public.

This would be his fourth marriage. He was previously wed to Karla James, with whom he has a teenage daughter, Chandler, and a younger son, Jesse Jr.; and to former adult film star and Penthouse centerfold Janine Lindemulder, with whom he has a young daughter, Sunny. Von D is divorced from tattoo artist Oliver Peck, and dated Mötley Crüe rocker Nikki Sixx on and off between 2008 and 2010.

At an LA party Wednesday, Von D told Us magazine, "I think our relationship has matured so much and matures every day and grows. I am not ashamed of anything. I am really excited about it. Every day we grow stronger.""

"Dirty Joke" : Doctor's Call

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home."What took you so long to answer?""I was in bed.""What were you doing in bed this late?""Getting a second opinion."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo" : Octosex

It's amazing what the mind can conjur up. Some people fill their minds with images of blue skies and beach vacations. Other people fill theirs with renderings of an octopus and a Japanese woman engaging in sexual bliss. Not sure if there is a deeper meaning to this tattoo, but from what I see, the only thing going deep is the Octopus.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Barnaby Ward


Adara Sánchez Anguiano

"The Hard Sell" : Taboo In Advertising

This "better than beer" campaign cooked up by Bacardi was banned all over because it "objectified and demeaned women." Why yes, it certainly does. But also yes, there are probably women lovers out there who in theory think a third boob is a good idea. One can only hope that after looking at her, no one would agree that this is better than beer because she looks like a mutant. Less is definitely more in this case.

"Vice Pioneers" : "Fuck"

Cohen v. California freedom of speech case


Ulysses: first movie to drop F-bomb


French Connection: profanity for profit

It's about that time to explore another beloved term for "Vice Pioneers." We've already uncovered "Cunt" so this week we go after the second most profane word in the English language. "Fuck" is a special word though. While "cunt" is shocking and all, it has limited meaning and can only be used in special occasions. Fuck on the other hand is the most versatile word, with the ability to be used as a noun, verb, adjective, etc. The word has a vague origin, but there is still plenty of history surrounding the word.

From Wikipedia: Fuck is an English word that is generally considered profane which, in its most literal meaning, refers to the act of sexual intercourse. However, by extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed.

"Fuck" can be used as a verb, adverb, adjective, command, interjection, noun, and can logically be used as virtually any word in a sentence (e.g., "Fuck the fucking fuckers"). Moreover, it is one of the few words in the English language which could be applied as an infix (e.g., "Am I sexy? Absofuckinglutely!"; "Bullfuckingshit!"). It has various metaphorical meanings. The verb "to be fucked" can mean "to be cheated" (e.g., "I got fucked by a scam artist"), or alternatively, to be sexually penetrated. As a noun "a fuck" or "a fucker" may describe a contemptible person. "A fuck" may mean an act of copulation. The word can be used as an interjection, and its participle is sometimes used as a strong emphatic. The verb to fuck may be used transitively or intransitively, and it appears in compounds, including fuck off, fuck up, "fuck you", and fuck with. In less explicit usages (but still regarded as vulgar), fuck or fuck with can mean to mess around, or to deal with unfairly or harshly. In a phrase such as "don't give a fuck", the word is the equivalent of "damn", in the sense of something having little value. In "what the fuck!", it serves merely as an intensive. If something is very abnormal or annoying "this is fucked up!" may be said.

Etymology
The Oxford English Dictionary states that the ultimate etymology is uncertain, but that the word is "probably cognate" with a number of native Germanic words with meanings involving striking, rubbing, and having sex.

Flen flyys and freris
The usually accepted first known occurrence is in code in a poem in a mixture of Latin and English composed some time before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys", from the first words of its opening line, Flen, flyys, and freris (= "Fleas, flies, and friars"). The line that contains fuck reads Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk. Removing the substitution cipher (here, replacing each letter by the next letter in alphabetical order, as the English alphabet was then) on the phrase "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" yields non sunt in coeli, quia fvccant vvivys of heli, which translated means, "They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely". The phrase was coded likely because it accused some Church personnel of misbehaving; it is uncertain to what extent the word fuck was considered acceptable at the time. (The stem of fvccant is an English word used as Latin: English medieval Latin has many examples of writers using English words when they did not know the Latin word: "workmannus" is an example.) (In the Middle English of this poem, the term wife was still used generically for woman.)

John le Fucker
A man's name, "John le Fucker", is said to be reported from AD 1278, but the report is doubtful: an email discussion on Linguist List says:

"This name has been exhaustively argued over ... The "John le Fucker" reference first appears in Carl Buck's 1949 Indo-European dictionary. Buck does not supply a citation as to where he found the name. No one has subsequently found the manuscript in which it is alleged to have appeared. If the citation is genuine and not an error, it is most likely a spelling variant of "fulcher", meaning soldier."

False etymologies
One reason that the word fuck is so hard to trace etymologically is that it was used far more extensively in common speech than in easily traceable written forms. There are several urban-legend false etymologies postulating an acronymic origin for the word. None of these acronyms were ever heard before the 1960s, according to the authoritative lexicographical work The F-Word, and thus are backronyms. In any event, the word fuck has been in use far too long for some of these supposed origins to be possible. Some of these urban legends are that the word fuck came from Irish law. If a couple were caught committing adultery, they would be punished "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge In the Nude", with "FUCKIN" written on the stocks above them to denote the crime. Another theory is that of a royal permission. During the Black Death in the Middle Ages, towns were trying to control populations and their interactions. Since uncontaminated resources were scarce, many towns required permission to have children. Hence, the legend goes, that couples that were having children were required to first obtain royal permission (usually from a local magistrate or lord) and then place a sign somewhere visible from the road in their home that said "Fornicating Under Consent of King", which was later shortened to "FUCK". This story is hard to document, but has persisted in oral and literary traditions for many years; however, it has been demonstrated to be an urban legend.

The word "fuck" did not come from any of the following:
"File Under Carnal Knowledge"
"Fornication Under the Christian King"
"Fornication Under the Command of the King"
"Fornication Under the Consent of the King"
"Fornication Under Carnal/Cardinal Knowledge"
"False Use of Carnal Knowledge"
"Felonious Use of Carnal Knowledge"
"Felonious Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"Full-On Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"Found Under Carnal Knowledge"
"Found Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
"Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" (referring to the crime of rape)

Usage history
Early usage
Its first known use as a verb meaning to have sexual intercourse is in "Flen flyys", written around 1475.

William Dunbar's 1503 poem "Brash of Wowing" includes the lines: "Yit be his feiris he wald haue fukkit: / Ye brek my hairt, my bony ane" (ll. 13–14).

John Florio's 1598 Italian-English dictionary, A Worlde of Wordes, included the term, along with several now-archaic, but then vulgar synonyms, in this definition:

Fottere: To jape, to sard, to fucke, to swive, to occupy.

Of these, "occupy" and "jape" still survive as verbs, though with less profane meanings, while "sard" was a descendant of the Anglo-Saxon verb seordan (or seorðan, serða), to copulate; and "swive" had derived from earlier swīfan, to revolve i.e. to swivel.

While Shakespeare never used the term explicitly; he hinted at it in comic scenes in a few plays. The Merry Wives of Windsor (IV.i) contains the expression focative case. In Henry V (IV.iv), Pistol threatens to firk (strike) a soldier, a euphemism for fuck.

Rise of modern usage
Though it appeared in John Ash's 1775 A New and Complete Dictionary, listed as "low" and "vulgar," and appearing with several definitions, fuck did not appear in any widely-consulted dictionary of the English language from 1795 to 1965. Its first appearance in the Oxford English Dictionary (along with the word cunt) was in 1972. There is anecdotal evidence of its use during the American Civil War.

Censorship
The films Ulysses and I'll Never Forget What's'isname (both 1967) are contenders for being the first film to use the word 'fuck,' although the word 'fucking' is clearly mouthed silently in the film Sink the Bismarck! (1960), and the title character says it in the cartoon Bosko's Picture Show (1933). Since the U.S. adoption of the MPAA film rating system, use of the word has been accepted in R-rated movies, and under the older rules, use of the word in a sexual way would automatically cause the film to be given an R rating. Later changes could allow for a maximum of three, non-sexual, strictly exclamatory uses of the word in PG-13 movies, extreme example being the movies The American President and Nine Months (this is more of a guideline than a rule, however, since the MPAA states it has no strict rules on how a movie is rated).

In 1970, Beatle John Lennon successfully got the word past the censors on his song "Working Class Hero" with the lines "They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool, till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" and "You think you're so clever and classless and free, but you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see."

Since the 1970s, the use of the word "fuck" in R-rated movies has become so commonplace in mainstream American movies that it is rarely noticed by most audiences. Nonetheless, a few movies have made exceptional use of the word, to the point where such films as Fuck, Good Will Hunting, Casino, The Last Detail, Menace II Society, The Big Lebowski, The Departed, Scarface (1983), Pulp Fiction, Blue Velvet, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, and Goodfellas as well as the HBO TV series The Sopranos are known for its extensive use. In the movie Meet the Parents, and its sequels Meet the Fockers and Little Fockers, the main character's last name of "Focker" is a running joke. In the popular comedy Four Weddings and a Funeral, it is the chief word, repeatedly uttered, during the opening five minutes. To many, one of the most humorous tirades demonstrating various usages of the word appears in the comedy, Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987), where Steve Martin expresses his dissatisfaction in his treatment by a rental car agency. The movie Student Bodies inserted a scene in the middle of the film to explain to audiences that movies with an R rating are more popular than those carrying a PG rating, which the movie could easily have had. He ends his address with, " ... the producers of this motion picture have asked me to take this opportunity to say 'Fuck you'.", at which time the MPAA R-rating banner appeared.

In several PG-rated movies, however, the word is used, mainly because at the time there was no PG-13 rating and the MPAA did not want to give the films R ratings; for instance, All the President's Men (1976), where it is used seven times; The Kids Are Alright (1979), where it is used twice; and The Right Stuff (1983), where it is used five times. Spaceballs (1987) is one of at least four anomalies in that it was rated PG after the 1984 introduction of the PG-13 rating, yet it includes Dark Helmet's line, "'Out of order'?! Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!" The second is Big (1988) which has the character of Billy asking Tom Hanks' character, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" The third is Beetlejuice (1988) which has the character Betelgeuse kick over a fake tree and scream, "nice fucking model!" The fourth is 1988's Caddyshack II where Randy Quaid's character shouts out he is going to break down a door with a "fucking baseball bat."

In the 1999 film "Galaxy Quest," Sigourney Weaver's character Gwen DeMarco is edited from the line "Well, fuck that!" to "Well, screw that!" The change was made to avoid a PG-13 rating, and the original line is obvious when reading her lips.

Films edited for broadcast use matching euphemisms so that lip synching will not be thrown off. One televised version of Quentin Tarantino's Jackie Brown, for instance, had the actors dub in the words frick, Nubian, and melon farmer for fuck, nigger, and motherfucker, respectively. In similarly dubbed versions of Die Hard and Die Hard 2, Bruce Willis' catchphrase "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker" is replaced by "Yippee-ki-yay, Mister Falcon" or "Yippee-ki-yay, Kemo Sabe." Similarly, the TV broadcast edit of Snakes on a Plane has Samuel L. Jackson saying "I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane", emending two occurrences of motherfucking. In the film The Big Lebowski, John Goodman's character repeatedly yells, "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass" while trashing a car. It was infamously censored on television as "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps." His character also repeatedly says to Steve Buscemi's character, "Shut the fuck up, Donny," or "Donny, shut the fuck up." In the television version, fuck is censored with hell.

Many stand-up comedians who perform for adult audiences make liberal use of the word fuck. While George Carlin's use of the word was an important part of his stage persona, other comedians (such as Andrew Dice Clay) have been accused of substituting vulgarity and offensiveness for genuine creativity through overuse of the word. Billy Connolly and Lenny Bruce were pioneers of the use of the word in their shows for general audiences.

Recently, the hip-hop group Black-Eyed Peas' hit song "Don't Phunk With My Heart" was censored on many radio stations to "Don't Mess With My Heart", establishing a new trend toward eliminating all euphemisms for "fuck" as well as the word itself. James Blunt's first major song, You're Beautiful, featured the line "she could see from my face that I was fucking high" - this was censored to "flying high" for broadcasting purposes.

Use in marketing
In April 1997, clothing retailer French Connection began branding their clothes "fcuk" (usually written in lowercase). Though they insisted it was an acronym for French Connection United Kingdom, its similarity to the word "fuck" caused controversy. French Connection fully exploited this and produced an extremely popular range of t-shirts with messages such as "fcuk this", "hot as fcuk", "mile high fcuk", "fcuk me", "fcuk her", "too busy to fcuk", "fcuk football", "fcuk fashion", "fcuk fear", "fcuk on the beach", "the joy of fcuk", etc.

In 2009, the European Union's OHIM trade marks agency disallowed a German brewery to market a beer called "Fucking Hell". They sued, and on 26 March 2010 got permission to market the beer. They claim the beer is actually named after the Austrian village Fucking and the German term for light beer, hell.

Freedom of expression
In 1971, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that the mere public display of fuck is protected under the First and Fourteenth Amendments and cannot be made a criminal offense. In 1968, Paul Robert Cohen had been convicted of "disturbing the peace" for wearing a jacket with "FUCK THE DRAFT" on it (in reference to conscription in the Vietnam War). The conviction was upheld by the Court of Appeals and overturned by the Supreme Court. Cohen v. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971).

In 1983, pornographer Larry Flynt, representing himself before the U.S. Supreme Court in a libel case, shouted, "Fuck this court!" during the proceedings, and then called the justices "nothing but eight assholes (referring to Justices Warren E. Burger, William J. Brennan, Jr., Byron White, Thurgood Marshall, Harry Blackmun, Lewis F. Powell, Jr., William Rehnquist, and John Paul Stevens) and a token cunt" (referring to Justice Sandra Day O'Connor). Chief Justice Warren E. Burger had him arrested for contempt of court, but the charge was later dismissed on a technicality.

And I Quote...Ricky Gervais Golden Globes 2011

In case you missed it, some of Ricky Gervais' stabs last night at the Golden Globes:

“I’d like to quash the rumors that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the Hollywood Foreign Press can hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish, that is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes.”

"It was a big year for 3D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seemed like everything this year was three-dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist. I already feel bad about that joke...I tell you what, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?"

"There were a lot of big films that didn't get nominated this year, nothing for Sex and the City 2. No, I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza."

“Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay, so the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then.”

“It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or, as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast.”

"Thank you to God for making me an atheist."

Introducing Robert Downey Jr.: "Many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail..."

Introducing Scarlett Johansson: “beautiful, talented and Jewish, apparently. Mel Gibson told me that – he’s obsessed.”

Introducing Bruce Willis: "Ashton Kutcher's dad..."

News Spotlight: Ricky Gervais' Globes Host Roast

The phrase "You'll never work in this town again" could not be more fitting for Ricky Gervais' Hollywood future after his host roast last night at the Golden Globes. Luckily for him, he's British. Gervais took it further than anyone has ever taken it. Remebber a few years ago when Chris Rock hosted the show and got everyone riled up? Well, that was a compliment rant compared to the stabs Gervais took last night. He stabbed everyone--and we're talking about everyone. The obvious choices like Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson to the more suprising like Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Sandra Bullock, and Scientologists. He even attacked the Foreign Press Association itself and God. He disappeared most of the second half speculating that his act got cut or that he even got fired, but he did show back up. As for the aftermath, Gervais is proud of his performance and has made it clear that even though he is aware he won't be asked to come back, he stands behind every joke. If you missed the telecast, I strongly advise you take a look at some of the digs.

And so lots of articles have been written stating that Gervais was too harsh. To that I say, give me a fucking break. Yes, Gervais was pretty dirty. He got in some low blows. But not only did he warn he was going to take it that far, he did something that needs to be done every once in a while: he didn't participate in ritual celebrity ass kissing. These actors get paid millions of dollars to do an art they love. Of all people, I can appreciate that and think they deserve every penny. But with this money and fame comes an ongoing fascination and ass kissing from the movie industry, fans, and press. Celebrities have become sacred cows who cannot handle someone saying no to them or standing up to them. So you know what? One night of bubble bursting isn't such a bad thing. Most of us get made fun of for free and there are still plenty days left in the year for these people to be worshipped. All hail, Gervais.

"Sex 101"

This week's OMGFactsSEX stats:

* Women with a Ph.D are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than women with a bachelor’s degree.
* A Chinese man’s testicles weigh an average of 19 grams.
* A Danish man’s testicles weigh an average of 42 grams.
* A woman sued San Francisco’s transportation system claiming that a cable car accident turned her into a nymphomaniac.
* “Gymnasium” comes from the Greek word “gymnazein”: to exercise naked.
* It is believed that the author of the Kama Sutra was celibate.
* Hirsutophilia: arousal from armpit hair.
* Isaac Newton died a virgin.
* Some have suggested that Beethoven’s deafness was a symptom of syphilis.
* Subcategories of incest: sex w/brother=Fratrilagnia, w/sister=Sororilagnia, w/dad=Patrolagnia, w/mom=Matrincest

The Slippery Slope of Etsy

Etsy implemented a new policy a couple days ago regarding what items will be banned from being sold on the site. The change was prompted by a printer selling greeting cards that poked fun at rape, the disabled, AIDS, and Jesus to name a few. The cards caused so much uproar that this guy was even mentioned on CNN.

While these cards are extremely offensive and in bad taste, the new policy is a bit vague and seems to open up an opportunity for Etsy to censor any items it doesn't find in good taste. Being that Metal Taboo pushes the envelope a bit, of course I have to wonder if this will trickle down. Only time will tell, but as of now, I shall keep the deviance coming.

Here is a snippet of the letter posted by the new Chief Operating Officer at Etsy:

"We have posted our new policies in the Prohibited Items section of our DOs & DON'Ts on Etsy.

For those of you who don't want to read the full text of the policies, I'll summarize the big changes. We no longer allow items or listings that promote, support or glorify hatred toward or otherwise demean people based upon race, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, disability, or sexual orientation; including items or content that promote organizations with such views.

We also looked at our policies around violence and illegal activity and we have revised those, too. The revised policy now prohibits items or listings that promote or support illegal activity or instruct others to engage in illegal activity and items or listings that promote, support or glorify acts of violence or harm towards self or others."

And I Quote...

“There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.” --William Somerset Maugham

Keri Hilson Gyrates

Keri Hilson is playing the vixen card now for her new "The Way You Love Me" video. She has done a good job up until this point of being naturally sexy and not pushing the oversexed R&B singer card too hard, but she has apparently turned a new leaf. Nothing wrong with sex appeal, but this is very over the top and surprising coming from her. All that being said, her body is siiiiiiick in this video.

"Sexpot of the Week" : Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola

Ok ok. I know picking a "Jersey Shore" chick as "Sexpot of the Week" may in itself be taboo, but you have to admit that Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola is kinda hot. If you didn't know her from the show and saw her in person, you'd at least give her a cutie title. And to be completely honest, she has branded herself as the least abrasive and obnoxious on the show. "Jersey Shore" just returned for its third season and as much as everyone claims to hate these characters, they are laughing all the way to the bank with their outrageous per episode fees (up to $30,000 per episode folks). I won't go so far as to call Sammi a business mogul, but she is beating the system and living the American dream. And she just so happens not to look so bad doing it, so why not give her this week's title?

"Dirty Joke" : Stupid Is As Stupid Does

A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger fucking his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you he was stupid."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo" : Sadist Smurf

Some people just don't have the happy childhood others have, lending them the ability to deface and villainize beloved childhood characters. In this case, a smurf has gone way of a killer and decided "Hello Kitty's" days are outnumbered. It doesn't lose marks for creativity, but beware of the psycho walking around with this on his/her arm.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Painter Feroze13


Illustrator Conrad Roset