Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Monday, October 31, 2011

News Spotlight: Kim K Divorce



I refuse to take a big part in this shenanigan so I'm just gonna post one of the best quotes I've seen in a long time, found randomly via Twitter...

"So Kim Kardashian is single again and the McRib is back. Black men are having the best week of their lives."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

"Dirty Joke": Whereabouts

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A. A widow.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

And I Quote...

“Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn't understand either men or percentages.” --Rose F. Kennedy

Monday, September 26, 2011

"Monday Man Candy": Eddie Cibrian







Meet the newest bootleg Don Draper. Since Mad Men has become a phenomenon, there has been a couple copycats trying to cash in on the 50s/60s show theme. The Playboy Club is the latest addition to this pile and the lead character, Eddie Cibrian is smoking hot. If you don't know him from being trifling in real life due to his scandal with LeAnn Rimes (having affairs with each other and later getting married), you might know him from a lot of other tv (a lot to name so Wikipedia if you care). Fortunately, there is no "being moral" clause to being man candy so although he may not be the ideal love interest, he sure in hell is ideal to drool over.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

And I Quote...

"A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest." --Helen Rowland

Monday, August 29, 2011

Bey Baby News


I loved Beyonce's pregnancy announcement last night at the VMA's so much I just wanted to repost it. Nothing really taboo about it. I just ♥ it.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

"Dirty Joke": Menage

Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?

A. Divorce proceedings.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"The Hard Sell: Taboo In Advertising": Deadly Sex



Take a guess what this ad is about. Well it's not about rape, but it certainly is about sex. The inscription reads (in Portuguese) "Girls, protect yourself. Demand your partner to wear a condom." I've never known MTV to be very involved with social issues so I'm not exactly sure why this ad even exists. Either way, it is attention grabbing and makes a clear point about the possible link between death and sex.

Advertising Agency: Ogilvy, Portugal

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

News Spotlight: Tattooed Splitsville



Some relationships people just can't wait to fail. Since Kat Von D announced her split from Jesse James last night via Twitter, all the news reporting about it has been ultra sarcastic and unsympathetic. I think it's safe to say James is the most hated person in Hollywood--well maybe after Mel Gibson.

From People: "Jesse James and Kat Von D have called off their engagement and broken up.


"I'm so sad because I really love her," James tells PEOPLE exclusively. "The distance between us was just too much."

James, 42, and the LA Ink star, 29, were engaged in January and had been planning a summer wedding around the one-year anniversary of when they started dating.

But the commute between Los Angeles, where Von D shoots her reality show, and James's home outside of Austin, Texas, where he lives with his kids, Chandler, 16, Jesse Jr., 14, and Sunny, 7, proved to be too much.



Von D confirmed the split on Twitter.

"I am no longer w Jesse," she writes, "and out of respect for him, his family and myself, thats all the info I'd like to share. Thanks for respecting that.""

Thursday, July 14, 2011

"Dirty Joke": House Rules

A couple gets married and after the wedding the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Dirty Joke": True Love

A trucker goes into a whorehouse and hands the Madam five hundred dollars. He says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich." The Madam says, "For that kind of money, you could have one of my finest girls and surf and turf." The trucker says, "I'm not horny, I'm homesick."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo": Null and Void



Getting a lover's name will always be the top dummy choice when it comes to tattoos. In the midst of bliss, folks get it done knowing there is a chance the tattoo will outlive the love for the person. And when that love vanishes, all that's left is the option to get a cover up or painful removal. For most people. This guy took a more comical approach to the situation. Melissa's legacy will live on.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

"Dirty Joke": Office Politics

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

"You did. All over his suit," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, fuck him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

"Vice Pioneers": Salome


Salomé, by Henri Regnault (1870)


Salome with the Head of John the Baptist by Titian, c 1515 (Galleria Doria Pamphilj, Rome)


Salome (2003), by A.Voytovych

I visted The Met a few weeks ago to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit and while waiting in the line, I came across the Regnault painting above. I loved it even though I didn't get to really look into it or the subject matter. And that was it. Now weeks later, while looking up some info on stripping for today's "Vice Pioneers", it popped up again. Salome, the subject matter for this painting, is quite the character so I thought I'd hold off on the stripping. For today, we'll just delve into Salome and her Dance of the Seven Veils, which is considered by many the first striptease.

From Wikipedia: "Salome (Greek: Σαλωμη, Salōmē), the Daughter of Herodias (c AD 14 - between 62 and 71), is known from the New Testament (Mark 6:17-29 and Matt 14:3-11, where, however, her name is not given). Another source from Antiquity, Flavius Josephus's Jewish Antiquities, gives her name and some detail about her family relations.

Her name in Hebrew is שלומית (Shlomiẗ, IPA: [ʃlomiθ]) and is derived from the root word ŠLM (שלם), meaning "peace".

Christian traditions depict her as an icon of dangerous female seductiveness, for instance depicting as erotic her dance mentioned in the New Testament (in some later transformations further iconised to the dance of the seven veils), or concentrate on her lighthearted and cold foolishness that, according to the gospels, led to John the Baptist's death.

A new ramification was added by Oscar Wilde, who in his play Salome portrayed her as something of a femme fatale. This last interpretation, made even more memorable by Richard Strauss's opera based on Wilde, is not consistent with Josephus's account; according to the Romanized Jewish historian, she lived long enough to marry twice and raise several children. Few literary accounts elaborate the biographical data given by Josephus.

Biblical character
According to Mark 6:21-29 (Salome is not mentioned by name in this passage so reference is incomplete), Salome was the stepdaughter of Herod Antipas. Salome danced before Herod and her mother Herodias at the occasion of his birthday, and in doing so gave her mother the opportunity to obtain the head of John the Baptist. According to Mark's gospel Herodias bore a grudge against John for stating that Herod's marriage to Herodias was unlawful; Herodias encouraged Salome to demand that John be executed.

And when a convenient day was come, that Herod on his birthday made a supper to his lords, high captains, and chief estates of Galilee; And when the daughter of the said Herodias came in, and danced, and pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give it thee. And he sware unto her, Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give it thee, unto the half of my kingdom. And she went forth, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask? And she said, The head of John the Baptist.

And she came in straightway with haste unto the king, and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of John the Baptist. And the king was exceeding sorry; yet for his oath's sake, and for their sakes which sat with him, he would not reject her. And immediately the king sent an executioner, and commanded his head to be brought: and he went and beheaded him in the prison, and brought his head in a charger, and gave it to the damsel: and the damsel gave it to her mother. And when his disciples heard of it, they came and took up his corpse, and laid it in a tomb. (Mark 6:21-29, KJV)

A parallel passage to Mark 6:21-29 is in the Gospel of Matthew 14:6-11: "But on Herod's birthday, the daughter of Herodias danced before them: and pleased Herod. Whereupon he promised with an oath, to give her whatsoever she would ask of him. But she being instructed before by her mother, said: Give me here in a dish the head of John the Baptist. And the king was struck sad: yet because of his oath, and for them that sat with him at table, he commanded it to be given. And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison.

And his head was brought in a dish: and it was given to the damsel, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took the body, and buried it, and came and told Jesus. (Matt 14:6-11, D-R)"

Some ancient Greek versions of Mark read "Herod's daughter Herodias" (rather than "daughter of the said Herodias"). To scholars using these ancient texts, both mother and daughter had the same name. However, the Latin Vulgate Bible translates the passage as it is above, and western Church Fathers therefore tended to refer to Salome as "Herodias's daughter" or just "the girl". Nevertheless, because she is otherwise unnamed in the Bible, the idea that both mother and daughter were named Herodias gained some currency in early modern Europe.

This Salome is not considered to be the same person as Salome the disciple, who is a witness to the Crucifixion of Jesus in Mark 15:40.

Salome in the arts
Salome has become a symbol for dangerous female seductiveness. Her dance before Herod, or with the head of John the Baptist on a charger have provided inspiration for Christian artists.

Despite Josephus's account, she was not consistently called Salome until the nineteenth century, when Gustave Flaubert (following Josephus) referred to her as Salome in his short story "Herodias".

Painting and sculpture
Salome and the Apparition of the Baptist's Head, watercolor by Gustave MoreauThis Biblical story has long been a favourite of painters. Painters who have done notable representations of Salome include Titian, Henri Regnault, Georges Rochegrosse, Gustave Moreau, Federico Beltran-Masses and Alexander Voytovych. Titian's version (illustration c.1515) emphasizes the contrast between the innocent girlish face and the brutally severed head. Because of the maid by her side, this Titian painting is also considered to be Judith with the Head of Holofernes. Unlike Salome who goes nameless in the Christian bible, Judith is a Judeo-Christian mythical patriot whose story is perhaps less psychological and being a widow, may not be particularly girlish nor innocent in representations. In Moreau's version (illustration, left) the figure of Salome is emblematic of the femme fatale, a fashionable trope of fin-de-siecle decadence. In his 1884 novel À rebours Frenchman Joris-Karl Huysmans describes, in somewhat fevered terms, the depiction of Salome in Moreau's painting:

No longer was she merely the dancing-girl who extorts a cry of lust and concupiscence from an old man by the lascivious contortions of her body; who breaks the will, masters the mind of a King by the spectacle of her quivering bosoms, heaving belly and tossing thighs; she was now revealed in a sense as the symbolic incarnation of world-old Vice, the goddess of immortal Hysteria, the Curse of Beauty supreme above all other beauties by the cataleptic spasm that stirs her flesh and steels her muscles, - a monstrous Beast of the Apocalypse, indifferent, irresponsible, insensible, poisoning.

Oscar Wilde's play
Salomé's story was made the subject of a play by Oscar Wilde that premiered in Paris in 1896, under the French name Salomé. In Wilde's play, Salome takes a perverse fancy for John the Baptist, and causes him to be executed when John spurns her affections. In the finale, Salome takes up John's severed head and kisses it.

Because at the time British law forbade the depiction of Biblical characters on stage, Wilde wrote the play originally in French, and then produced an English translation (titled Salome). To this Granville Bantock composed incidental music, which was premiered at the Court Theatre, London, on 19 April 1918.

Film
Wilde's Salome has often been made into a film, notably a 1923 silent film, Salome, starring Alla Nazimova in the title role and a 1988 Ken Russell play-within-a-film treatment, Salome's Last Dance, which also includes Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas as characters. Steven Berkoff filmed his stage version of the play in 1988.

In the 1950 film Sunset Boulevard, the principal character Norma Desmond is portrayed as writing a screenplay for a silent film treatment of the legend of Salome, attempting to get the screenplay produced, and performing one of the scenes from her screenplay after going mad.

IMDB lists at the very least 25 Salome/Salomé films, and numerous resettings of the Salome story to modern times.

Dance of the Seven Veils
In several notable works of Western culture, the Dance of the Seven Veils (usually described as danced by Salome) is one of the elaborations on the biblical tale of the execution of John the Baptist. Details enriching the story in later Christian mythology include providing a name for the dance, and describing the purpose of the dance as being to inflame King Herod with incestuous desire so that he would treat John as she wished.

Biblical account
According to ten verses of Matthew 14, John was imprisoned for criticizing King Herod Antipas's marriage to Herodias, the former wife of Antipas' "brother" Herod Philip I. Herod offered his niece a reward of her choice for performing a dance on his birthday. Herodias persuaded her daughter to ask for John the Baptist's head on a platter. Against his better judgment, Antipas reluctantly acceded to her request.

Possible origin in pre-Christian myths
The Dance of the Seven Veils is also thought to have originated with the myth of the goddess Ishtar and the god Tammuz of Assyrian and Babylonian lore. In this myth, Ishtar decides to visit her sister, Ereshkigal, in the underworld. When Ishtar approaches the gates of the underworld, the gatekeeper lets Ishtar pass through the seven gates, opening one gate at a time. At each gate, Ishtar has to shed an article of clothing. When she finally passes the seventh gate, she is naked. In a rage, Ishtar throws herself at Ereshkigal, goddess of the underworld; but Ereshkigal orders her servant Namtar to imprison Ishtar and unleash sixty diseases against her. After Ishtar descends to the underworld, all sexual activity ceases on earth. Papsukkal, the messenger-god, reports the situation to Ea, king of the gods. Ea creates a eunuch called Asu-shu-namir and sends him to Ereshkigal, telling him to invoke "the name of the great gods" against her and to ask for the bag containing the waters of life. Ereshkigal, having promised to grant Asu-shu-namir's wish, is enraged when she hears the demand, but she has to give him the water of life. Asu-shu-namir sprinkles Ishtar with this water, reviving her. Then Ishtar passes back through the seven gates, getting one article of clothing back at each gate, and is fully clothed as she exits the last gate. Her release is, however, granted only under the condition that she find someone to replace her in the underworld. Tammuz, Ishtar's husband, has been making merry while she has been dead, and so the goddess sends Tammuz to Ereshkigal."

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Rihanna: "Man Down", Controversy Up



Rihanna is catching a lot of flack for her new "Man Down" video. I saw someone post a comment with a good point about why it's ok for violence to be shown in movies, but as soon as a musical artist puts it in a video, it's too much. I give her props for at least going against the grain and tackling a serious issue. And yeah, she looks really hot as usual.

Friday, June 3, 2011

"Sexpot of the Week": Pink







It's in the news today that Pink just gave birth to her baby so we can officially file her under the MILF pile. She has a "chick that kicks ass" sexiness opposed to an obvious sexy, which is so much more intriguing. Her body always looks amazing. She wears and does what she wants, curses, and makes no apologies for any of it. In sum, she's a real rock star and happens to look really good being one. And let's not forget the eye candy hubbie she gets to tote around as an accessory.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

News Spotlight: Kim as Wifey



So yeah, Kim Kardashian is engaged to her six-month boo Kris Humphries. It's fascinating that after all the black penis she has had in her, she has decided to commit to a half black one. Gotta give her points for switching it up. And while he is a professional basketball player, he can't be that rich so why the hell would he drop $2 million on an engagement ring? Oh, I know. Because now that what's her's is his, he can afford it. It's already being rumored she's going to make millions off this wedding. Here's to getting ready for another Kardashian reality show.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

And I Quote...

“I'll be there for you, as long as it works for me. I play a game. It's called insincerity.” --Trent Reznor

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

News Spotlight: Celebrity Baby Name Fuckery



Celebrities are known for cray cray baby names. The newest addition is Alicia Silverstone and Christopher Jarecki's new baby boy. Name: Bear Blu. Status: WTF. I'm all about creativity and uniqueness when it comes to labeling (I actually think the name is kinda adorable), but only when it involves oneself. These babies have no say in the matter and while the parents are off the hook after the name is given, the kid has to spend the rest of his/her life explaining what Mom and Dad were thinking--or drinking. Poor little cub.

Friday, April 22, 2011

And I Quote...

“I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.” --Bill Hicks