"Sexpot of the Week": Freida Pinto

Last week, I stated that I think Scarlett Johansson is the most beautiful woman in Hollywood. I want to renig on that statement because I actually think Freida Pinto is. She really is stunning. Being that it was her first gig, she hit the acting jackpot with her role in Slumdog Millionaire. Ever since, she has been featured in countless magazines because of her beauty alone. She has only worked on a few movies since Slumdog (probably because she lives in India and Hollywood isn't around the corner), but it seems like the tides are turning. She's starring in the upcoming Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which will no doubt be a blockbuster. And since blockbusters usually lead to more blockbusters, we may get lucky enough to see a lot more of her.

"Dirty Joke": You Suck

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

As he passes his parent's bedroom, he peeks in through the keyhole.

He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo": F-Unicorn

When I search for new tattoos for this blog feature, I come across a lot. I chuckle a lot. But this ultra-ridiculous one has a very special place in my laughing heart. I can barely contain myself. The "F-Unicorn" title was taken directly from the ugliest tattoo site because it's so predictable of a description it needs no altering.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Roland Maas


Nastia Zabrodina

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell: Taboo In Advertising": Deadly Sex

Take a guess what this ad is about. Well it's not about rape, but it certainly is about sex. The inscription reads (in Portuguese) "Girls, protect yourself. Demand your partner to wear a condom." I've never known MTV to be very involved with social issues so I'm not exactly sure why this ad even exists. Either way, it is attention grabbing and makes a clear point about the possible link between death and sex.

Advertising Agency: Ogilvy, Portugal

And I Quote...

“Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.” --Aldous Huxley

News Spotlight: Tattooed Splitsville

Some relationships people just can't wait to fail. Since Kat Von D announced her split from Jesse James last night via Twitter, all the news reporting about it has been ultra sarcastic and unsympathetic. I think it's safe to say James is the most hated person in Hollywood--well maybe after Mel Gibson.

From People: "Jesse James and Kat Von D have called off their engagement and broken up.


"I'm so sad because I really love her," James tells PEOPLE exclusively. "The distance between us was just too much."

James, 42, and the LA Ink star, 29, were engaged in January and had been planning a summer wedding around the one-year anniversary of when they started dating.

But the commute between Los Angeles, where Von D shoots her reality show, and James's home outside of Austin, Texas, where he lives with his kids, Chandler, 16, Jesse Jr., 14, and Sunny, 7, proved to be too much.



Von D confirmed the split on Twitter.

"I am no longer w Jesse," she writes, "and out of respect for him, his family and myself, thats all the info I'd like to share. Thanks for respecting that.""

"Monday Man Candy": Chris Evans

I'm not a big superhero kinda gal, but Captain America is fucking hot. And since it seems Chris Evans is always gonna be a superhero, I might just give in. His biggest role after this one was as a human torch in Fantastic Four so if he isn't saving the world, he apparently has little box office appeal. Hey, whatever works--and keeps a big check getting cashed. To his credit, a look at his discography reveals he has been at this acting thing since 2000 so he's put in a decade's work to get the role of a lifetime. And you gotta love anyone involved with knocking Harry Potter on his ass for a change.

News Spotlight: Amy Winehouse

Since I didn't get a chance to mention the unfortunate death of Amy Winehouse over the weekend, I will say my part now. She was one of my favorite artists and anyone who knows me knows one of the things I talk about most when it comes to music is my longing for her to get it together and bless us with more. I can honestly say I have never been this sad about a musician dying. I think the ultimate culprit of these tragedies is the fact celebrities find themselves surrounded by people who only kiss their asses to keep the freebies coming and that they often reject the people that have their best interests at heart and try to set them straight.

Details of her death are starting to surface and there's a lot of confict--some news sources reporting that no drugs were found in her home, while others saying she bought ecstacy and cocaine the night before and went on a drinking binge. The autopsy will be done today so the truth will surface. Either way, music has lost one of its true gems.

Metal Taboo's Liquor Bizness

Metal Taboo is now in the liquor business. Well sort of. We are now serving flasks to add to our vice offerings. There are two different styles of flasks. The first are designed using high gloss colored resin backgrounds with embedded taboo inspired metal emblems. The second consists of original artwork (based on pieces in the Metal Taboo metalwork line) using colored resin layers. Both are unique, handmade, high-quality, and designed to keep you tipsy (errr most likely trashed) in style! Take a look.

And I Quote...

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” --Rose F. Kennedy

"Sexpot of the Week": Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson is in the news today for the same reason Hollywood starlets are usually in the news-couple rumor stuff. Nevermind that. I always rely on the news to refresh my memory on people I forget about. The fact I forgot about Scarlett is a little surprising because I happen to think she is THE most beautiful actress. And I love that she always has the girls out. She's very aware she's sexy and she doesn't make a fuss about playing it down. Somehow she hasn't been recognized as a "Sexpot of the Week" so here it is.

News Spotlight: Hip Hop's Demon Child

While browsing the news today, I can across an MTV article pointing out that Tyler, the Creator thinks his competition for the VMA's Video of the Year "suck". Those would be Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," Beastie Boys' "Make Some Noise," Bruno Mars' "Grenade" and Katy Perry's "Firework." Well, actually he approves of Adele. Anyway, I was amused that someone was actually honest about how they feel about their rivals because artists usually spew that "I'm honored to be nominated with..." crap. Then I watched the video. And I was even a bit more amused and decided I should research him. This video is pretty representative of what he's about-sin, murder, and angst. The only part not apparent is that he also happens to rap a lot about raping women-a whole lot. Because of that, there's no way I'll ever be a "fan". As much as I love filthy, his lyrics are even too much for me. But I do respect the fact he's offering a new approach to hip-hop.

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo": "W" is for Whoops

Just in case you aren't aware, this isn't the way you spell "reckless." Not a very obvious spelling mistake, but it's very unfortunate to have a grammatical error tattooed in huge letters across your back. The fact no one seemed to catch this before it was plastered is a good indication he will go through life without many people pointing it out. But the fact this guy wants to be identified as reckless and was very much so with his tattoo is quite comical.

"Dirty Joke": Opinion

Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical.

After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in later years."

She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion."

"OK" he says, "you're fucking ugly as well!"

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Irene Maria Jacobs


Terry Rodgers

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell: Taboo In Advertising": Headless Hornmen

Although the message of this AIDS awareness ad is blunt, it's not as obviously clear. At first glance, I thought it meant that HIV and AIDS are faceless. But apparently the message is not to be headless when in the heat of passion. Makes sense. "Verstecken ist ansteckend" means "to forget is contagious". As for creativity, of course chopping off people's heads and showing gay sex are gonna get people's attention. Because of the overzealous attempt at shock value, the ad doesn't come off as thought provoking or genius, but it does what it intends to do--makes people look.

And I Quote...

“I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.” --George McGovern

News Spotlight: Insult to Injury

It's amazing how much smaller your circle becomes once you enter the world of money and superstardom. It must suck to be Elin Nordegren. It's bad enough for someone to wreck your marriage, but to find out the same chick slept with your new man is insult to injury. She probably wants to bash skulls right now!

From Ace Showbiz: "Words have run rampant that Elin Nordegren's new boyfriend and Tiger Woods' mistress were once lovers, but he has reportedly denied the hook-up has ever happened. TMZ reported that friends of Jamie Dingham insisted the New York marketing executive never had sex and never stayed together with Rachel Uchitel.

While Jamie's friends came to his defense, other sources familiar with the situation said otherwise. They dished to the gossip site that Jamie and Rachel got together in Miami back in October 2009 for a new investment business. They stayed for two and a half week at the home of their partner, Chris Barish.

Jamie reportedly was dating a model named Inez at the time. According to sources, the son of a billionaire tycoon came into Rachel's room late at night twice. Each morning after, Rachel was said discussing the hook-up with Barish, who was involved with Jen Madden, the woman who sold Tiger's story to the National Enquirer.

Elin and Jamie themselves allegedly have been quietly dating for 6 months. The New York Post reported that the two met at the Red Cross Ball in Florida in January this year. A friend said, "He's never been so happy. He and Elin have strong feelings for each other. He's a classic all-American guy. He's handsome, a total gentleman and low-key.""

Shout Out to Breaking Bad

I'd just like to give a warm welcome back and shout out to Breaking Bad. Unarguably one of the (if not the) best shows on television returned last night with a bang. Now that Walt has passed the threshold of "breaking" and is full-blown bad, the show is better than ever. Last night's episode was as impressive as usual and I am more than grateful to have my Breaking Bad fix back. TV may be mindless, but it sure in hell beats needing a meth fix.

And I Quote...

“Whores are the most honest girls. They present the bill right away.” --Albert Giacometti

News Spotlight: Twitter Axing

I never really feel bad for celebrities because they make too much damn money for that, but this is still kinda fucked up...

From NY Daily News: "Well, that's something to write home about.

Just one day after "Glee" creator Ryan Murphy announced that three principal characters on the sing-and-dance show would not be returning after this season, he violated a cardinal high-school rule: He tweeted about it before he talked about it.

That is, according to Chris Colfer, who reportedly learned of his oust via Twitter.

"Yeah, I found out that they made that announcement," he said of the stunning news in an interview with Access Hollywood. "I didn't necessarily know that it was going to be our last season next year. I knew something like that was coming up eventually. I mean, we can't be there forever."

"I don't necessarily want to leave so soon," he went on. "But, I mean, it's fine. It's what it is. And all things come to an end."

Murphy, who announced the OMG news late Wednesday night, had said that he'd had lengthy discussions with both Lea Michele and Colfer, though he didn't talk to Cory Monteith, the third actor who will be leaving the show."

"Dirty Joke": House Rules

A couple gets married and after the wedding the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo": Gift Wrapped

Last week, I featured the ultimate douchebag tattoo. Well, I don't discriminate and feel it's only fair to present female douchebags as well. Here we have a woman who most likely is not God's gift. And if there is anything that can shed doubt about it is the fact the proclamation is so small. You would think God would let everyone know about his gift with a bolder, more expressive message. And can I get an apostrophe please?

"The Hard Sell: Taboo In Advertising": Mounted

Now this is just funny. And genius. The travel ad done by Scholz & Friends in Germany (for queer-travel.de) humorously points out the excitement to be had in America for the gays looking for vacation. The inscription reads "the other side of America" and shows what the backside of Mount Rushmore might look like. Seeing our forefathers in an assuming bent over position is so wrong, making it feel oh so right.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks: Toy Fetish

Pee & Poo kid's line


Made by toy design company Zupton

Just in case your everyday encounters with fecal matter and sex juices isn't enough, you can always cozy up to a plush toy to get your fix. Via Sex in Art

And I Quote...

“Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.” --Johnny Carson

News Spotlight: Robbery Fuckery

Here's some Tuesday morning fuckery for you. Musicians never dissapoint. At least he was being environmentally friendly with use of the cell phone and all.

From Los Angeles Times: "CONWAY, Mass - A musician, using a stickup note posted on his cell phone, robbed a Massachusetts pharmacy of prescription pain pills just hours before his scheduled rock concert, authorities said on Monday.

Michael Todd, 30, a bass player and singer with New York rock band Coheed and Cambria, was arrested Sunday at the Comcast Center in Mansfield, Massachusetts, several hours before the group was set to open for headliner Soundgarden.

Prosecutors say Todd went to a Walgreens in nearby Attleboro Sunday afternoon and showed a pharmacy employee a text message on his Blackberry saying he had a bomb and demanding prescription painkillers.

"It is somewhat routine that in robberies, the robber gives a note to the clerk, but obviously this was a little bit more high-tech," said Gregg Miliote, spokesman for the Bristol County District Attorney's Office.

A frightened employee allegedly then handed over a half-dozen bottles of oxycodone pills, and Todd fled the store, taking a taxi to his parked tour bus outside the hall, said Miliote.

Attleboro police managed to track down Todd after piecing together details from surveillance video at the pharmacy and a witness's description of the taxi, he said.

At his arraignment Monday in Attleboro District Court, Todd was charged with armed robbery and drug possession, Miliote said. Judge Dan O'Shea ordered Todd held on $25,000 cash bail.

"Michael Todd was arrested today on what we consider very serious charges and therefore he will not be finishing up the current tour," said a statement from the band on its Facebook page.

Musician Wes Styles will take on bass duties starting Monday for the remaining dates in Poughkeepsie, New York; Quebec City and Halifax, Canada; it added.

"We are surprised, to say the least, and will address the situation with Michael after the tour. For now, we just want to have a great time out here and finish with some killer shows," the band statement said."

"Monday Man Candy": Alexander Skarsgård

True Blood is good at rotating hot men in and out of the plot and it's very supportive of a fan's need for eye candy. But when it's all said and done, there is only one recurring character that sticks around and never loses the ability to instantly give one the need for a sexual fix. That would be Eric Northman, or in real life Alexander Skarsgård. Sure, Bill has always been the main vampire of the series, but all that whining and pining over Sookie makes him slightly pathetic and quite unsexy at times. We don't have those problems with Eric. He's dirty, sexual, ruthless, and we love it.

News Spotlight: "G" Ain't for Goblet

Ok so Harry Potter stars are not only alkies (recent Daniel Radcliffe confession), but they also are taking over the world of hip-hop. Maybe it's a bit unfair to assume this guy can't be a credible rapper, but I'm gonna stick to it.

From Fox News: "The actor who plays Hogwarts villain Draco Malfoy is set to cast a spell over hip-hop fans -- as a Snoop Dogg-style rapper, The Sun reported Monday.

Tom Felton, 23 -- famed as the upper-class bully Malfoy in the "Harry Potter" films -- is aiming for a music career now the schoolboy wizard's filmed adventures have come to an end.

Felton, who has clinched a recording deal with an independent label, told The Sun, "I was thinking of doing some [British hip-hop group] N-Dubz-style stuff."

"I'm going to change my image -- backward caps, the lot," he added.

Despite trying his hand at rap, Felton insisted he will not be giving up his acting career any time soon. He has five films in production -- including a lead role in "Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes."

The eighth and final "Harry Potter" film premiered in London last week."

"Dirty Joke": Bright Ideas

A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."

"Sexpot of the Week": Katy Perry

When you naturally look like a 50s pin-up, being smoking hot isn't the hardest of tasks. Katy Perry has done a great job at playing up this idea and creating a signature pop-star persona. In a music world filled with female stars like Beyonce (a lady but fierce), Lady Gaga (over-the-top and crazy), and Britney Spears (vixen and, well, also crazy), she's viewed as the fun, bubbly one. She is okay not being sexy at times ("Last Friday Night" video) and really gives you the feeling that she doesn't take herself too seriously, which is kinda admirable. As for the often poked-fun at fact that she used to be a gospel singer? Maybe it can be credited for God blessing her career and giving her the best boobs in the business.

"Bad (Not Bad Ass) Tattoo": Family Jewels

Douchebags and tattoos don't mix. When they do, the above is an example of the catastrophes that often ensue. This particular douchebag thinks it's charming and funny that he has ink sperm swimming down his leg. It would be interesting to know the reactions of his sex partners when they realize just what kind of man they have selected as a mate. Oh, and as for the quality of the artwork--it simply sucks.

"Sex in Art" Weekly Picks

Arthur de Pins


Tiffany Bozic

To see more artwork, go to the "Sex in Art" website.

"The Hard Sell: Taboo In Advertising": Bloody Mess

If you plan on going on a trip anytime soon, this effective ad from the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) will make you think twice before purchasing anything furry. "Don't buy exotic animal souvenirs." Got it? Ok good. The ad, created by Polish ad agency LOWE GGK, is very creative and conveys its point well. At the very least, it makes one think shot glasses and t-shirts will suffice.

And I Quote...

"Life's a bitch. Oh no...wait. That's you." --Unknown

News Spotlight: Wizards and Whiskey

The world's favorite wizard has revealed that all that enemy slaying and mind trickery took a toll. In his GQ interview, Daniel Ratchliffe says that he drank quite a bit on set of the last Harry Potter movie and became "reliant" on alcohol. The whole childhood star turning into an alcoholic or drug user is a recurring theme in Hollywood so it would seem these stories wouldn't have much shock value. But it's fucking Harry Potter! What is the (wizarding? Muggle?) world coming to?

"Sexpot of the Week": Beyonce

Beyonce is so obviously one of the sexiest women on the planet that she has probably been omitted from being "Sexpot of the Week" until now from simple oversight. Her new album, "4", dropped this week and she is everywhere to have reminded me. No female singer has accomplished what she has and no one really argues against the claim that she is in a league of her own. Even though she has been a part of our lives forever, she's only 29 so there is so much more to come. Nothing more really needs to be said about her--although a rant about her amazingness could be managed. I'll pass on that, but I had to include her.